It has been almost two years since I said goodbye to pappa. It was a divorce that was a long time coming. I didn't think I had what it took to say my goodbye for a long time. After my goodbyes many tough months followed. At times I wanted to run back into his arms, at times I wanted to never see or hear from him again. Well, technically speaking I never heard or saw him, that was part of the problem. He knew where I lived, he even "bought my home and paid for my living expenses" but he never stopped in to say hello.

I spent my time in anger at the daddy that wasn't there. I was not ready, however, to say goodbye to Mother. She was part of my life still, something tangible that I experienced. She didn't stay away from me. After two years though, it is time to say goodbye to Mother. It's not so much that I hate Mother, she didn't abuse me, overtly at least. In order to divorce pappa fully, I have to say my goodbye's to Mother. In truth, the divorce was made possible by my partner, who has the strength to keep her relationship with Mother without me now. Her growth and individuality is at a different level now.

Despite the tough times over the last two years I have not regretted my decision once. The decision was not to divorce my parents, but to tell people and own the decision that was made over a lifetime of disappointments. The seventh day of the week is different now. It will take an adjustment but it is an adjustment that needed to be done. It is one of the final steps in becoming myself.