A neatly tied noose made from silk rope. Not a luxury was spared. The ivory inlaid chair back dug into my skin giving a gentle reminder of the "finer" days. Sitting in the chair holding the knot I can't help but wonder if it's been worth it. A silk rope wouldn't burn my skin nearly as bad as normal rope. Would it be like drifting to sleep? Would I change my mind? Would I thrash? It would have to be easier than falling asleep at night. Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. Make it the sweetest that I've ever seen.

Who would miss me? There would surely be tears but I wouldn't be there to taste them. The real question was if I would miss it? What would I miss? Who would I miss? Would I miss the ivory chairs or the flesh of my wife? How badly would it hurt? Would I regret it? Obviously not after a few minutes. But the first minute or two. That is the question. After kicking the ivory bastard from beneath me would I immediately stop and smile or try to pull myself up to relieve the silk from my neck? Could my shoulder handle it if I wanted to bail? I can raise my arm above my head now but how much could I lift? I can hardly lift myself up when fully healthy so surely I would fail.

"Tshh Tshhh Tshhh" her hand tells me. "What are you doing? Why are you squeezing me with your body?" I ask.

Terry Jones has never read the Koran!

This is stunningly expected.

I read this post in response to the "purpose" question and I liked it.

http://atheistexperience.blogspot.com/2010/09/purpose-and-meaning-without-god.html




Specifically, I guess my question is this: how do you go from living a life where you 1) believe in a God who guides and protects you, 2) provides eternal security, 3) makes everything work out, and 4) gives current purpose and ultimate hope to your life, to believing that everything is essentially random chance, there is (probably at least) no afterlife, this life is it, and there is death, dying, pain and suffering all around, to continuing after losing all of that? I am finding myself often consumed with the feeling—if not the belief—that continuing to live is an irrational exercise. That it literally doesn't make sense. Am I wrong? Why? And have others struggled with a lack of purpose and hope upon turning away from Christianity, and how have they death with this?

My reply:

Hello and thanks for contacting our list.

The first step is to realize that none of the things you thought god gave you were god given, and yet you were doing OK. Nothing about reality has changed—only your perspective on it. So, if you felt that god gave you strength to go through a rough patch, for example, you now know (or should know) you have that strength, but no god is, or ever was, required.

The fact is that religion robs us and cripples us by making us believe we need it. It instills that by taking children and not teaching them how to live without god and religion in most cases. When they try to leave the religion often they find themselves tied to it because they have no other mechanism for coping in reality—a reality they were robbed of a chance to get to know and appreciate, and a reality with which they have trouble coping without the blind obedience to authoritarian rules they've been taught to adhere to under pain of eternal death or torture.

That being said, know that you have all the things you had before, nothing has been taken, you've only been hoodwinked into feeling like something has been taken. You now may have to hone some real life skills you never had to manage before, that's true. So, for example, any immorality condemned on god's command now should be suspect. You now are responsible for determining whether and why actions are truly wrong or harmful. There is no more "I just say it because god said so." This is another religious projection. Theists claim that atheists don't want the responsibility and moral obligation of dealing with rules and morality. When, in fact, it is the atheist who must own his own ideas and actions and has no god to blame, only himself. From this day forward, you are a responsible human being in a way you probably never imagined.

So, that's #1 and #2 of your questions above.

Three (#3) is that things don't always work out. The universe can be a horribly cruel and pitiless place in which to find yourself. Many people live horrible and short lives or horrible and long lives and never know love, comfort, or compassion from another human being. Be very glad you aren't one of those, and think about how you might feel if you were. Consider if that is sufficient to motivate you to want to help—knowing that no god is going to fix it, and only other people can lend a hand. To me, that puts, again, greater responsibility upon us all to do what we can to help other people. We can't suggest they suffer for some divine reason, or that they will have a better reward someday. We must own up and step up. If they suffer for reasons we can alleviate, then they suffer due to our lack of compassion and assistance. And we help them with the knowledge that if we need assistance, most often other people will be there to help us in a similar fashion, because—thank evolution—most social animals really are biologically driven to care about group welfare.

Above may answer #4 as well. That depends on you. You have your life ahead of you after years of living in indentured servitude to a lie. It's like being let out of prison after having been railroaded in, in the first place. "What do I do now?" can be daunting, but my answer is "live your life." Find joy in what you do. Show compassion to those around you. Remember that it wasn't just Jesus who observed that treating others in good ways is a good idea that helps everyone out and makes us feel good about our usefulness. There are countless people and animals and environmental issues just hurting for support and aid. Where to being?! Now is your chance to ask not "what does god want me to do?" but "What do I care about? Where am I needed? What makes me happy?" (Considerations religion often condemns.) The fact that you're concerned about these questions tells me you have nothing to worry about. You are the sort of person who values introspection and reason. Those things will serve you well and guide you for your entire life in ways god never could have.

On your deathbed, when you say "I lived a full and satisfying life, I did what I thought was right, and I am proud of how I lived," what would that be referring to? What would allow you to be able to say that at the last? That's what you need to find and to do and to work hard at during this life—the only life you can be guaranteed you'll ever have.

>that continuing to live is an irrational exercise

You are right that this thought doesn't make sense. I have helped people before in ways I know made them very glad I was alive and there for them. I have, likewise, been helped, as well, by people—one person who wanted to commit suicide, believe it or not. But I was glad he was alive, as I was literally stranded in a blizzard in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere—locked out of my car with nobody around. He helped me get to safety, and in doing so shared a story about his family, expressing that he just wants to finish his life and end it all. But if not for him—I dread to think what could have happened to me that night. Suicide due to want of purpose is a sad and supreme waste of resources on a planet where every hand that helps can make a difference and can matter in ways we may fully never appreciate.

I'm glad you also have uplifting feelings. That's good news. I did a blog post that got some comments that relate a bit to what you're describing. Maybe reading what others had to say could help? You never know what will make an idea finally click in your head?

http://atheistexperience.blogspot.com/2009/12/wasting-your-life.html

Again, it was mainly the comments I thought of when I read your letter, not necessarily the post itself.

I hope this helps.

—th

Myq was my favorite comic on the show. He did an interview over at The Friendly Athiest. (check the blog out). I liked his responses thus cementing the fact that he was my favorite comic on the show.



When did you realize you were an atheist?

I’ll start by saying I don’t really like labels. I consider myself a “non-labeler.” That said, I believe the word “atheism” comes from something meaning “without belief” or something close to that. I think that various people perceive the word and concept in different ways, some viewing atheists as aggressively attacking the concept of god (which some do), but I take it more literally; it’s just that I’ve not seen any real reason that belief is warranted. I mean, I like the idea of belief, and growing up I did believe… even in college, I remember thinking things like “we can’t know for sure, we have no proof one way or the other, so why not choose the belief that makes me feel better? if it’s unknowable.”

But sometime thereafter, early in young adulthood, I started thinking more about all the bad things that happen in the world, and the (to me) unacceptable justifications for why a well-intentioned God would allow such things to happen. I also read some books by Daniel Quinn (“Ishmael” and several others) that put into context various stories from the Bible, paired up with stories of the beginning of agricultural civilization 10,000 years ago, and it really made more sense to see them as stories.

Of course I don’t know everything, and I’m certainly open to be proven wrong. But I’m just a big fan of the reality that we can perceive, doing what good we can in this world that we (almost) know exists, etc.

Or maybe it was the first time I took mushrooms.


Myq is a funny guy. Demetri Martin-esque. Lots of one liners and clever word play.

Check out his Twitter and his Blog. Very Funny.

This is a good example of what I think about praise music. And my disdain for praise music dates much further back then my pronounced atheism.

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but...will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” —Marcus Aurelius

I'm an atheist.

It has been almost two years since I said goodbye to pappa. It was a divorce that was a long time coming. I didn't think I had what it took to say my goodbye for a long time. After my goodbyes many tough months followed. At times I wanted to run back into his arms, at times I wanted to never see or hear from him again. Well, technically speaking I never heard or saw him, that was part of the problem. He knew where I lived, he even "bought my home and paid for my living expenses" but he never stopped in to say hello.

I spent my time in anger at the daddy that wasn't there. I was not ready, however, to say goodbye to Mother. She was part of my life still, something tangible that I experienced. She didn't stay away from me. After two years though, it is time to say goodbye to Mother. It's not so much that I hate Mother, she didn't abuse me, overtly at least. In order to divorce pappa fully, I have to say my goodbye's to Mother. In truth, the divorce was made possible by my partner, who has the strength to keep her relationship with Mother without me now. Her growth and individuality is at a different level now.

Despite the tough times over the last two years I have not regretted my decision once. The decision was not to divorce my parents, but to tell people and own the decision that was made over a lifetime of disappointments. The seventh day of the week is different now. It will take an adjustment but it is an adjustment that needed to be done. It is one of the final steps in becoming myself.